Another phrase...again?

It's funny reading back my last entry, which was almost a year ago.  The ending of the previous story is that I really got offered the other job by LCSD and gave up the translation one.

The work at LCSD was fine, in the beginning, when I was still innocently thinking that I have not picked up the tasks yet which causes my boss's not very welcoming reaction.  3 months later, I knew that something was really wrong, but I convinced myself to work on as changing 3 jobs in 2 years is really not a good option.  That turned out I've completely fxxked up my health, both mentally and physically, and I quit in December, when the contract was going to be renewed (what a miracle I lasted that long).

Thinking about what happened back then, I found that my memory has become a bit blur.  The only thing I remember in my last two months there was that I couldn't control my emotion and very often, simply broke down and cried.  I couldn't sleep, in fact, DIDN'T want to sleep at night merely because of the thought that I need to get to work after I woke up.  It's crazy.  And I kept falling ill for months, told by doctors that I got low blood pressure and balancing problems.

Anyway, I thought I was going to be fine after I left, but it doesn't seem so, at least not when I am still having nightmares about my boss - previous boss -  at night.  Hell...

Yesterday I respectful friend told me we should be the one steering the ship of our lives instead of just sitting in it and let someone else lead the way.  I agreed, but I am feeling that my ship has just got stuck in the mist and lost direction... perhaps I should get prepared for another crash into a rock again?

Just grumbling, don't take me seriously.

Currently Listening Life in Cartoon Motion By Mika Grace Kelly, Lollipop, Love Today, Billy Brown see related

My "Sixth Sense" is right...?

Last time I just said that I felt like the holiday is ending... it has become real.

In the last few months when I did prayers sometimes I was hoping that I would be able to get a better job before my Dad's contract with his company ends.  Somehow I guess my prayer was answered...  coz I got an offer at Dad's last day... 

After two years working here and there playing around I got back to where I came from - translation.  I'm still not sure if I will really take the job, as the other job that I went for interview today was just as attractive.  I think I will give the agent a ring and ask when will be the 2nd interview (if any, of course), should there be none then I'll start my subtitle translator job happily without any worry (you know I'm not good at saying No to people, especially those who offer me nice opportunities, and I like that post...) and enjoy all those movies/dramas/programmes that come to me~

Currently Listening Undiscovered By James Morrison see related

Mind drifted hundred thousand miles away

The hateful thing about having (officially) nothing to do is that you will really do nothing and think about many useless things.  I have thought about what I have accomplished in the previous 1 month and a half (Lunar New Year excluded), the only constructive acts I've done is to enroll in the Japanese course again, and helped out in Mum's little shop (which I do quite reluctantly), and perhaps, having finished some freelance jobs.  So, what I have done most...?  Sleep, eat and ... getting ill I guess.

In this period of time I have slept for at least 8 hours each day (which is good, but often shouted by Mum, said I sleep "too much"), ate two meals every day (finally got away from the haunting memories of the greasy, salty awful meals in Macau), and got sick for 3 times.  Sick for THREE times...  I'm starting to suspect it's my karma.  Every time I got "nothing" to do, which mean when I'm jobless, or on holiday, I usually got ill, ill enough not to be able to leave the bed; and when I'm working/having lessons, no matter how uncomfortable I feel I was still "well" enough to move on... (and at those times I was always hoping I would just faint in the next second and be rushed to the hospital and away from whatever I was doing, which never happened)  I'm Taurus, but must I live like a cow/an ox?

I am having the feeling that this vacation is going to and have to end soon... coz I really don't have that much money for doctors...  and I'm getting tired of daydreaming in the day and having nightmares at night...

 Saw this from my cousin's diary, it's one of his little new draft - 

Starting from zero...  I like that~  Seems that many ppl around me are planning for a new start...

Kin's Birthday! I can't believe I forgot it!!!!

Have I reached the stage where I will subconsciously deny the growing up of my beloved cousins (i.e. me getting older...)?  How old is Kin now??  18!!!!  I can't believe it!!  Another cousin became an adult!?  Birthday is a good thing but not so good if it reminds me of my age.  It really makes you feel old seeing your younger kins growing up - I'm talking about 19 of them...  Two months later half of them will have finished their HKCEE, and for some of them, probably even their school lives...  To me that is more scary than seeing a horror film in a dark room alone.  Just a moment ago they were still a little baby, and then, when I realized they are already taller than me LOL  I still remember when they used to got a fight, bullying one of my little girl cousin, etc., and got closer and more attached to each other when they become older.  In the past 20 years we've got through many ups and downs, the whole process was so dramatic, it always amazes me when I think about how we got over all those difficulties.  Will we be able to keep the way we are now?